Where are all the Beautiful People?

This weekend I went on a get away to Ohio to visit my sister. Once again I found myself in a situation plagued with questions as I saw the people in the airport. Wonderfully immaculate gorgeous people; and that’s when I thought. Every time I go on a vacation the airport seem to be the best part; why? Because of all the hot sexy women you see there. It’s like a buffet of women no wonder there’s such a long line to become a TSA agent. You’re surrounded by women all day and can do strip searches on whomever you want. (Random selection, HA!) Sadly soon as I walked onto my plane it was like the hills have eyes. And you never get stuck sitting next to the only decent looking girl on the plane nnnoooo noooo noooo, that be tooooo much to ask for. You get stuck sitting next to the weird fat guy that drinks tomato juice. TOMATO JUICE!!!
That’s just how it is you never find that bar where all the girls are sexy or that party where you’re sure to hook up with a hottie. You can’t seem to locate that girl’s night out group where all of them are banging and none of them are “taken”. (Its all lies no matter what they say) So where are they? Why is it we all have one friend who seems to always find them but we hang out with them and it doesn’t happen? Well I’ve found them; I did the research, ran the tests and verified my hypotheses. It’s all come to a conclusion and I know where they are.

1. Gas Station- Only in the summer time though its gotta be mid-day. Sexy women don’t have 9-5 jobs* Side note: 5-9 is used for preparation for night time fun
2. White Castle- Idk what it is but there is always something good to look at on the line at 1am, you know I don’t mean the menu
3. The shore (Off season)- Huh right? WRONG, everyone goes down to the shore during the summer but good-looking people are deep. They like the cool soft serenity of the ocean on a quite nightly stroll.
4. Group therapy- The hot ones are also the crazy ones
5. The Airport- Are you reading skill good? If this sounds new then not really.
6. That seat two rows ahead of you left side- Doesn’t matter where you go there’s always seems to be that person in the corner of your eye. They distract you from whatever you suppose to be doing or paying attention to. (Happen to me the plane ride home)
7. The last day of vacation- That’s when you always meet someone isn’t it? (That’s why I pretend like it’s the last day every day I’m there)
8. A friend’s family reunion- They never tell you how hot there cousins are, why? They secretly don’t want to be related to you.
9. An Ugly Girls Party- 9-10 times she’s the ugly one and your already their friend so no clockblock(YEAH!!)
10. Anywhere Your Publicly Drunk- Lets face it everyones sexy with a little juice in ya

P.S. If you cant find good looking people least you can look for WALDO!!! HAPPY HUNTING :)